Category : Books-Non-Fiction

Sub Category : Biography

 Chapter 1

I was just a little boy. It was a sunny day. A regular day full of hopes and dreams. I remember looking up at the blue sky. I remember my mom saying. Son i will bring you a controlled remote car. At that time that was a great thing to hear from your mom when your dad was not there. I was almost 7. The saddest part of my story is that she never came back. I remember waiting for her that afternoon saying to my self where is she. I remember grandma telling me victor shes not coming back. I didn't cry then. But it broke my heart. I remember walking to the house. I cried all night so many tears. Next day i woke up. It was like part of me was taken away. It was hard to believe, that the one person who i though it was never going to hurt me did.. Time passed by. A year later, i grew up so fast. I had 5 cousins and 2 brother. I was the oldest of them all. I remember waking up every morning to get them ready for school. Got the milk from the store down the street. It was a little store. I remember walking down our street early in the morning scared. You know im from El Salvador. A little country where gangs and death its an everyday thing. I learn to say no to violence and gangs even dough, i was. A broken kid. I wanted nothing more then to show the world that. We as people always have a choice. We can choose to keep the cycle or break it. I decide it to break the cycle my family its been. 

The older i got the worst things were getting for me, the worst part is that no one knew how i felt and no one knew what i was going through. I remember waking up one night awaking up in the morning, the night before i heard screams i didn't pay any attention to it. The worst thing happen to me in the morning. I did not know this was going to scar me for life, giving me night mares and sleepless nights. Did i mention we use grow corn and some vegetables behind our house. Its was a big house and a lot of land. Well that morning i found this guy who was stabbed around 108 times. An MS13 gang member trying to rob. When i found him that morning i didn't know who he was. There was just a lot of blood all over his body even his face. I remember standing there chocked couldn't move it was a fee seconds but it left like hours. I remember i ran to grandmas screaming and crying saying there is someone behind the house. That night i didn't sleep. Next day. And the day after that i could o ly sleep during the day.  My dreams my thoughts. I sometimes still see him in my dreams and im 26 now. I see him asking me for help. And im just standing there frozen, saying to my self was that you last night, if i would only say something last night or if i would of got up and turn the light onk. Maybe you will still be alive. That was. Our neighbor till this day no one know from my country that i heard screams that night. Sometimes life is full of surprises but i was 7 and lonely and  with no one to talk to but my self and my head was going crazy. I learned to put pain in the side and victor hernandez grew up.   

Chapter 2

To be continue

Tittle
Sleepless nights

  " depression is such a cruel punishment. There are no fevers, no rashes, no blood tests to send people scurrying in concern, just the slow erosion of self, as insidious as cancer, it is essentially a solitary experience; a room in hell with only your name on the door"  


  That day will for ever stay with me. I would of never known that on that morning one of the many nightmares of my life will begging. I went to school that day on chock. I remember coming back from school and seeing them taking the body in this white long blanket, not much blood, i saw because most of it was on the ground behind my house. Well hours pass by and the night. I can still see his face. Hear his screams. Everytime i closed my eyes i saw his face. I just couldn't sleep. The worst began when i finally closed my eyes from being so tired and up all night. I saw the mens taking him down the street under that white blanket, out of nowhere the blanket moved from his face and he open he's eyes and said PLEASE HELP ME!! I woke up with knot on my stomach. I felt like i scream but i didn't. I could speak. I woke up and didnt slept the rest of the night. Days past, weeks, months i was only sleeping during the day i was afraid to close my eyes at night. Under my blanket every night for months i felt alone and afraid. What was going to be there if i took the blanket off. Sometimes i felt like he was next to me. I felt this cold feeling. And i couldn't speak or move. It was like my body was there but my soul was gone.  

 Well even after all that i smile to everyone but inside i was screaming for help. It was like my childhood was swallowed by this nightmares and sleepless nights i had on my own. Afraid and alone at nights and strong and smiling at day. It was like i was leaving two different lives at two different moments. I remember when i turn 8. Who would of though that would be my last birthday in El Salvador. I remember my parents send money to celebrate my birthday at this place called "pollos camperos" its almost like chuck n cheese. My brothers, cousins, and friends we were all there at that moment i forgot about everything i felt like kid that day. All my demons were gone until i got home from one of my best memories that i remember that i was a kid. But what happen next i cant even believe that im still here alive to tell you my story.