Category : Scripts

Sub Category : Plays

As we were sitting down he asked "have you ever been a victim before?" that question alone drove me back to when i was just 6 years old most people will think i no longer have memories but what i have realised is that bad memories can be stuck in your mind forever , for me i think this memory will hunt me even in my grave. let me take you back on how everything happened . i was just 6 years old active girl who was always laughing and as my mom always say that i never kept queit yeah i was talkative , this other time during school holidays i went to visit my father's family and the activities that use to take place there were so exciting for me because i was not used to them so this other morning we woke up with my half sister and decided to walk around fetching fire woods as for me i was soo happy because it was the first time doing that  .we walked around until we reached the bush near my fathers place ..as we were sitting there telling ourselves that we are resting our neighbour who was around 19 years by that time appeared and told my younger sister to go home because her mom is calling her...as i stood up with my younger sister the girl said no not you ..you can stay here your sister is coming back ..okay i stayed there my younger sister left ..after few minutes that girl also left me alone there..i sat down waiting for my little sister to come back .within a long period of time a guy came to me when i looked at him i recognized that he is my father's friend and my neighbour..to make it clear he was that 19 years old girl's brother ..he said to me 'hey i was sent to take you home come this way ' i agreed but to my suprise we took the different direction to my home ..as a visitor i thought we will end up at home but no we ended up next to gravesite thats when he undressed me and did what ever he was doing ..i went home and told my stepmother and she did not believe me and i kept quiet until my granny saw blood on me  .went to clinic and my mother opened a case against him..to me nothing mattered because i was soo young and some how the case ended up being dropped and what i was told is that the matter was resolved as a family since the guy was my neighbour...it did not bother me at all by that time but my mother said since that time i started changing   ..i could be frightened by anything even small sounds ...little did i knew that it was going to be a nightmare to me when i grow up , i remember meeting that guy when i was in grade 10 i run for my life..just seeing his face brought everything back ..some said rape changes you to be sex addict or you can hide yourself from people or you can hate male figures for the rest of your lives which can turn you into a psycho in eyes of males..as for me it changed everything in me ..there come a time where i hated men with everything in me i felt like they all responsible for what happened to me i felt like they had power to protect me but they didnt and as a results of that most of my relationships with a male person suffered ..and when i couldnt deal with what happened to me i tried changing myself ...i started acting like a boy dressing like one and walking like one ..it felt right ,i use to find comfort in how i was living my life i use to twist my mind and think that im a boy and no one will ever rape a boy ...i even went as far as liking everything that boys like ..playing soccer and car .. i was never a make up person .i did not like playing with dolls and everthing that girls do ...to myself i was a guy ..little did i know that it was not who i was ...i was been a victim of rape i was allowing myself to be a victim without fighting it... without your family's support you can not get throught this..my family never understood what was happening to me even when i try to talk about it they use to brush it off and pretended like they never heard me..somehow i found someone with same situation as mine we confide into each other .. that's when the pain became less ..i thought i have dealt with it until recently when i was chilling with him . he said he doesn't believe people get raped and i looked at him my eyes were soo fulled of tears but as i taught myself never to cry infront of a guy because he might take me as a weak person ,i controlled myself...i asked him what he just said ..he repeated .."i dont think people get raped out there " i just told him to keep quite because clearly he doesnt have a clue on what he is talking about ...he asked  "have you ever been a victim before?"  i got tongue tied because to me being a victim was less that what rape made me went through...i couldnt find a perfect word of what i was but i was more than THE VICTIM