Category : Books-Non-Fiction

Sub Category : Biography

                     Prologue 

           THE LAWS OF JOHN                     
   A DECLARATION OF IDENTITY

I belong to her , heart , mind , body and soul. This is an eternal state of being , intrinsically me, and unwavering in those qualities. I am not currently or do I wish to be in control of my own happiness and mental well being. I do not wish to be in control of this simply because the eternal state of being that defines my very nature, requires that I be entirely and without question devoted to her , and being that this level of devotion is something that is naturally occurring as well as self sustaining and perpetually present , those properties defy the very conception of change. So I would not , nor could I even want to ever change. This is in direct disregard for the fact that I live a tortured and miserable existence. Every day is a struggle to make it to the end of , and the only reason I allow myself to continue this journey down the road of torment called my life , is because I cannot let go of the small bit of hope that's clinging to my heart. That shred of hope is essentially a piece of wireless data , otherwise pure energy , and as the second law of thermodynamics states , energy can neither be created or destroyed. So I am destined to live the rest of life to the maximum length allowed by the universe , always being hers , always wanting her , always needing her. And i wouldn't have it any other way , because loving her is the single most important thing I have ever done with my life , and I wouldn't take back a single second of feeling this way. As a matter of fact , I welcome the rest of the seconds that I have in me to feel the same way , no scratch that , I challenge the rest of the seconds I have in me to feel any other way , knowing all along  that this is a challenge they are incapable of completing. I welcome the rest of my time on Earth to love her always , I welcome it with anguish and hard wired determination.