Category : Books-Fiction

Sub Category : Romance

“Anna! Wake up!” I groan as I look at my alarm clock. Five forty-five in the morning. I throw my legs over the bed and shake them out trying to get blood flow to my sleeping toes. I fling open my door and look up at Violet. “Finally. We have to leave in an hour.”
                “Vi, it takes me twenty minutes to get ready.”
                “I know this but it’s also the first day of school. Don’t you want to look your best? What if today is the day?” My heart gives an uneasy leap.
                “What if it’s not? I can’t start every day like this. It’s starting to wear on me. I feel it, Vi.” She pulls me into a hug, forcing a single tear to fall.
                “It’s wearing on all of us. I know him, he will show up eventually. Anna, look at me. He is out there. I feel him, his heart beat. Every day we get closer to him and him to us. So, go get ready, we have a surprise for you.” She spins around and heads downstairs. I’ve lived with her my whole life and I still can’t get used to her. Twenty minutes later I am showered, dressed and my makeup is on. I don’t need it but it hides my depression.
                As I walk downstairs, all the lights are off. I fumble around for the switch when I’m blinded by a bright light. Blinking for a few seconds I start to see Vi, Theo, Josie, and August all standing around the kitchen. A crescendo of Happy Birthday falls upon me and I can’t help but smile. I always dread my birthday, one more year older. One more school to add to my never-ending list.
Ok, I may have gotten a little ahead of myself here. For the record I am twenty-five, however, I pass for a high school freshman, I if do my makeup right. For a while it didn’t matter because school wasn’t an option since I was female but as the times changed, I had to change. I stopped counting how many times I’ve started high school and graduated college. How many different degrees and names I have. How many times, my heart has been ripped out of my chest every day looking for him. Stop Anna, just focus on today and not the past. Today, you just turned fifteen.
I blow out the candles before me and force a smile on my face. No one really knows how bad my depression is except for Vi. Her shoulders sag with relief and pulls me into a hug. “Keep your head up today please.”
“I will try Vi, but it may be time to move on. If we can’t find him by the end of the year, I’m letting him go, ok?”
“Fair enough.” She searches my eyes and I see heartbreak in hers. “Come on, we need to get to school early, so we can get our class schedules.”
“Always with the planning this one.” Theo whispers in my ear and goes to embrace Vi. I giggle when he tries to muse up her perfectly straight hair. We all make our way to the car and head off to school. This year we are back to North Carolina, hopefully our final stop before we stop this charade. “Seriously Vi? Don’t you think they will recognize us?”
I snap my head to the front and look at the school. My heart is racing, this place was the worst. Everything bad that happened in my life happened here. “Vi…”
“I know, I know, I know! This is the only one we haven’t been back to twice already. Anna, I’m sorry but this is all we got.”
“What about a different state?” Josie and August are ignoring this and trying to look occupied. Theo is rubbing Vi knee. “We could always go to South Dakota or Colorado. We haven’t been there yet.”
“We agreed on this pattern, Anna. After this year, if this is no sign or word, we will go to Colorado.”
“What?” Josie finally breaks in.
“I’m sorry guys but I can’t keep putting my heart out there. If we can’t find him by the end of the school year, I’m letting go.” I throw open the door and half run to the school. I freeze with my hand on the door as my mind wonders to the past when we came here, all of us.

“Annie wait up!” The winter air bites at my face as I run for safety. I glance back and duck as Cyrus throws another snow ball at me. “It’s only snow!”
“Frozen rain. Meaning when it melts, it’ll be water.” He reaches me and wraps me in his arms. “Cyrus, be careful. You know we can’t do anything.”
“Fine. I will stow my kiss for later.” He puts me down and holds the door for me. Everyone inside is oblivious to what was going on outside. He bows before leaving me with all the girls.

“Anna?” August reaches for my hand and I run towards the bathroom. Sinking to the floor, I bite my lip to keep from crying. Why didn’t I let him kiss me? I would give anything to go back to the last moment I was happy.
“Anna?”
“I’m ok, I just need a minute, Josie.” Josie walks into my view and sits Indian style in front of me. She doesn’t utter a word, just sits there, and waits for me to pull myself together. “It’s hard being here. Everywhere I go, I think of him. His memory is all over this town, Josephine.”
“I feel it too. I know Cyrus meant a lot to you. We all lost him, Anna. We all lost our brother. I know you said after this year, you’re done looking, but what about us? Are we supposed to stop looking too?”
“Josie, it’s been almost two hundred years since we’ve seen or heard from him. I’m trying to realistic and protect my heart. Things have a way of being found when you stop looking.” I grab her hand and hear her gasp. “Do you see now? I can’t keep doing this.”
“I didn’t know, Anna.” We sit there for a few more minutes before getting up. The hall is slowly starting to fill with teenagers. Thankfully no one tries to talk to us as we make our way back to the others. “Don’t block me out anymore, please. I may be tiny, but I can help.”
“Ok.” It’s a meek apology but it’s all I have. She gives my hand a squeeze before walking to August. I get my schedule from Vi and start towards my first class. I take a seat in the very back and rest my head on the window ledge, letting my mind wonder.

I pull my thin shawl closer around me as I knock on the door once more. It’s dead of winter and I can feel my body slowly freezing to death. Just about the only way to kill me. I give whomever is inside ten minutes before I try again. Please, this is my last safe place. My legs are shaking violently as I collapse on the door step. I faintly hear the door open before I am being cradled close to someone. They place me by the fire and run out of the room. “Here, drink this.”
My eye lids flutter open and I greedily drink the warm liquid. Life is going back to my toes and fingers. I can feel my strength coming back as I thaw out. “Thank you. I had nowhere else to go.”
I turn my head to meet whomever saved me and am struck by his beauty. His smile falters and I timidly reach out my hand to grasp his. His chocolate brown eyes follow it and he lets out a little noise when our hands touch.

My hand stings from the memory. I rub it as I push the memory away. “Hello, I’m Matt and you are.”
I look to my right and find a very handsome guy sitting next to me. His blond hair and blue eyes reminds me strangely of William. I give a little smile. “Anastasia but you can call me Anna.”
“It’s nice to meet you Anna. I haven’t seen you around, did you come from another middle school?” I’m about to ask him what he is talking about then I remember I am supposed to be fifteen and just starting high school.
“Actually, I just moved from Georgia.” I scrim when I notice the way Matt is looking at me. If I could move seats I would, but every seat is filled. There is one girl who is giving me the death glare. This is going to be a wonderful year. As the day wears on, my annoyance grows for the Matt guy. He seems to always turn up. First day of school and I already have to avoid one person.
At the end of the day, I’m walking out to the car when Matt finds me. “Hey. How was your day?”
“Look Matt, you seem like a nice guy but this whole following me thing has to stop. I have a boyfriend.”
“Who lives in Georgia.” He grips my arm tightly and pulls me over to the wall. “Listen here, Anna. I don’t give two fucks if you have a boyfriend or not. I like you and if you don’t show some interest well, I’ll make your life a living hell for the next four years.”
I refrain from rolling my eyes. “Get off me, Matt.” I walk away and get inside the car. Josie is the first to get there after me. “I have to show you something.”
Without giving her a chance to respond I grab her hand. “Oh, Anna!” She throws her arms around me. “What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know. He reminds me of William and he wasn’t warm when he grabbed me either. What if this is him? What if he found me, Josie?” She looks at me with scared eyes and shakes her head. “What do I do?”