Category : Stories

Sub Category : YoungAdult

Ah yes. Coming out. A terrifying idea. One moment you are safe in your little closet. A mask covers your true self. But that's okay right? There is no pain right? But there is. There is pain. 

The pain of being called a young lady. The pain of being forced to wear a dress by your mother because "my DAUGHTER needs to look nice for this wedding". The pain of someone saying your "name" in public. But it's okay because I'm safe right? 

I am safe. I am safe from my transpobic parents and family. I am safe from the hand full of kids at my school that would most likely kick my ass because I'm not a real boy. I am safe from the man at the corner waiting to kill me because one in every twelve trans people are murdered. But I am not safe from myself. 

In my  little closet I am alone. A few friends are welcome. To them there is no closet. I am safe in their arms and protected. But to the rest of the world I am not Miles Otis Caron I am a little girl that needs to take off that stupid baseball cap and put her little princess crown back on. 

So when I am alone. In my little closet of a world, my thoughts come in. They say things that make me  shiver. They say things tha make me fear for my well being and that's how they start. That is how the panic attacks I have never experienced untill I watch some girl tell me how there is only two genders and nonbinary isn't one of them. She made me see that if someone could shit on someone who is so close to who I am then someone else could make bucks off me not being a true man. That's how they start. So I am not truely safe. I fear that I will be that one in twelve and I fear that I will be disowned by they people I love. 

Coming out to my seven friends was so hard and soooo huge. I could not look them in the eyes. I had to do it over the phone because I couldn't handle the thought of seeing there face. The way they would look at me if they thought I wasn't what they wanted anymore. 

So don't you tell me how coming out is easy. Because you are a straight, cis, white, male with all the privilege in the world. Because you are a girl that can look at the curves you were given and not hate them. Because you are not trans, queer,gay,bi,pan,asexual,or any part of the LGBT+ community. Because you do not know what it is like to come out. So stop say how easy it is. Just stop.