Category : Books-Fiction

Sub Category : Romance

	He could still remember when he’d first met her,  Commander Jane Shepard. On board the SSV Normandy. She was the Xo, a hero awarded numerous medals, a soldier to the core, yet looking at her in person he couldn’t place the woman they’d told all these stories about with the woman who stood in front of  him. She barely stood 5’6”  and couldn’t be more than 130 lbs, Raven black hair that had been drawn neatly into a bun, with cold steel colored eyes that sat in contrast to her olive skin complexion, he’d known it the moment he set eyes on her,  when his heart stopped and his jaw refused to cooperate with his mind. He knew at that moment, she was the one he’d want for life. Funny how you find love in the middle of a war that spanned the Galaxy. He’d read her service record, but they hadn’t prepared him for her. 

	During their time on the Normandy, in between fighting geth and Saren, and even fighting the reapers they’d come to be close. She listened to his stories about being a biotic, the pain he’d gone through and even his regrets, she’d given advice, and even dare he say it flirted with him, He’d always followed the rules, but the night they had to steal the Normandy from lockdown, they’d all thrown caution to the wind. He’d heard her words to the crew of how they’d be victorious but he also heard the fear in her voice, he knew she’d taken Ashley’s death hard, that she blamed herself. He also knew that she chose to save him, because of how they felt for each other. 

	He’d stayed behind in the conference room after the crew left, he had to ask her why she’d saved him. He could see the weight of this war written in her eyes, how the pain seemed to gloss their vibrant color over. “Shepard, On virmire, why’d you save me.  You could’ve saved Ashley and didn’t so I gotta know why me?” the questions seemed to hang in the air between them for a moment or two before she turned around to face him. 

	“I couldn’t lose you Kaidan, I just couldn’t” she responded as she fought back tears. Completely unable to compose herself and give a brave face, she wept, “ I just couldn’t” 

	“I know, Jane believe me I know. I couldn’t lose you either” his reply came a little husky, laced with emotions he’d held back for far too long.”I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to upset you”  he continued as he closed the space between them. Up until that moment he’d never touched her, held her or came close enough, Though he’d thought about it far too much. Gently wiping away a tear from her face, he lifted her chin  so she was looking him in the eyes. He hadn’t thought this out, had no plan yet felt drawn closer to her. He felt himself leaning into her, as he  gently placed his mouth upon hers, feeling her soft supple lips, tenderly as if driven by some unknown force he let his tongue probe between her lips seeking to deepen their kiss. To his surprise she responded, giving into him, even letting a quiet moan escape as he sucked her bottom lip in between his teeth gently. His head swam with the emotions he’d held back, becoming intoxicated by her scent, her taste and the feel of her this close to him, He felt her fingers comb through his dark hair and couldn’t believe the sensations it elicited inside him. He wrapped his arm around her waist pulling her closer, as he trailed kisses down her jawline to her ear, whispering to her in a raspy, breathless voice “ don’t cry, I can’t bare to see you cry, “ for a moment they stood like that, him holding her close to his chest, his breathing uneven and her fitting perfectly into his embrace. He wasn’t sure how long they’d stood like that maybe a moment. He knew it felt right, that he’d never felt this before, yet he also knew they’d broken regulations, that they could be court martialed for this, and yet he didn’t care. To him this was worth spending time in the brig, it was worth the risk, holding her like this close to his heart. 

	That night he’d paced the locker room on board the ship for a long time. Trying to build the courage up to go to her, his desire for her had become a fever pitch, all he could think about was her, how they’d kissed. How they’d stood together holding each other for the longest time. He felt like he craved her scent, her taste and the feel of her near him. Right up until he finally chose to take a leap of faith and follow his heart. He found himself walking right to her cabin, knocking and entering. She sat at her desk, turning around to face him. 

	“Kaidan….” had been all she could say. 
“Commander….” he sighed as he tried to speak “Shepard, there’s something I need to tell you.”  he continued. “I know it breaks all regs, and I’m not sure if you feel the same “ 
“Yea, I don’t think breaking regs is an issue now, we’ve stolen the Alliances ship.” she smiled  at him 
He hooked his arm around her waist pulling her into him and with a desperate abandon kissed her, not gently like earlier but with a need, a desire and a fire he’d never known before. It was as if he needed  this to breathe. 

	“I can’t fight this anymore jane, I want you, hell I need you” his voice shook “Somewhere between battles, between this madness I fell in love with you” he confessed not giving her time to answer as he drew her in for another kiss, wrapping his other arm around her waist, lifting her up as she swung her legs around him. “We can stop before we go to far Jane” he breathlessly whispered against her neck, Trying to catch his breath. He could hear her breathing as hard as he was and smiled to himself knowing he’d had a similar effect on her as she had on him. The woman he’d known to be full of confidence and grace had been speechless. 

	Jane couldn’t say anything, all she could do was stare into his honied eyes and try to breathe, She’d never risked this much for love. She avoided relationships, it had become easier, no muss no fuss. However, being held by Kaidan like this she felt as if  the world had spun and turned on it’s head. All she could do was nod to him, Much of their time together they’d spent flirting and dancing around these feelings, yet on the eve of a suicide mission neither of them wanted to wait anymore. They no longer cared about the price they could pay with their careers. In all her life she’d never found herself wanting anyone as much as she wanted him.