Category : Poems

Sub Category : N/A

Living every day in this pain
Is something I can't explain 
The memories that flood my brain 
Nothing but the bad ones, that drive me insane 

Drugs have ruined my life, and more
The years I lost, I can't even recall 
I was young and dragged into this war
Using drugs to heal my sore

People can handle it but I got stuck
Believed in all the people that didn't give a fuck 
Going in circles, stuck in this rut 
Trying to recover, and being shit out of luck 

Leaving that place seemed like it would help 
But bringing the memories with me dragged me back to hell 
I went straight back into drugs after doing so well 
The cleanest I've been, and I just fell 

I still haven't dealt with shit that broke me from the start 
Numbing it all to stop myself from falling apart 
Adding to the list of things that keep breaking my heart 
The worst imaginable pain I still deal with by far 

I try my hardest I swear I do
But its so painful, I'm sorry if I hurt you 
I cry my self to sleep because of the shit I do
I promise I want to get better and make it through 

It's just that sometimes there's nothing anyone can say 
I have a heart that's broken, and it's not easy to deal with everyday 
My brain is damaged from it all and it's worse when I silently lay 
I can't shake it off, I don't want to be like this I just want to be okay 

I swear some days I think about how the pain would go if I ended it all
Walking this path of mine has caused nothing but a massive war 
A war between my heart and head, leaving me always sore
I don't want to deal with it, I just have to make the call

When you turn around and point out my faults, just know one thing 
I was a good person right till the end, like I was in the beginning 
I only ever wanted nothing but the best for every single sibling 
I never intensionally meant to hurt anyone, but this depression is winning 

I would love to lend my feelings for the days so you could see
The loneliness never goes away, and the memories will never leave 
The pain tears me apart bringing me to my knees
I am so over laying here shattered, once again wiping away my tears

This poem I wrote wasn't meant to make you feel bad 
I don't want your sympathy or you to feel sad
I just want to show you how it's been everyday I don't mean to nag 
But this struggle is heartbreaking, and it's all I've ever had 

I still walk down this road of mine because of bec jess Shelly and Nick 
Fucking oath it's hard and every day I'm trying to recover from being this sick 
Bare with me as I'm tired of being exhausted from holding these tonne of bricks 
I'll stay strong hopefully because I'm the eldest of 5 kids