Category : Diary/Journal

Sub Category : N/A

One day you wake up.
Everything is different.
You remember what happened. 
You just lost something close to you. 
You never thought it would happen but you now see it would. 
You try to forget so you turn on the music and stare out into space.
Every word said to you comes flooding back. 
You don't know what to do.  
Every song hurts.
The one thing that always made you happy is making it worse.
So you turn off the music and let the silence cover you. 
The drifting. 
You being replace.
The fake smiles. 
The lies about how you are. 
All starts. 
The person that was there for you when you needed them is nowhere to be found.  You're alone. 
The fight between family. 
The distrusting.
Being mislead. 
Feeling unwanted.
Gets worse.
You don't know what to do so you turn the music back on and sing your pain away. 
But it doesn't seem right you're missing something. 
Your "best friend" just told you you didn't mean anything to them and that this friendship was over. 
You get tired of singing so you turn the music off and lay there. 
Staring out the window.
In the dark by yourself crying.
It hurts so much and you don't want to be here anymore,  but you know you need to be here. 
So you turn the music back on and turn the lights on. 
You need to do something to  feel better. 
So you draw and forget the world around you. 
But you still can't get over the fact that  you just lost something close to you.
It just doesn't seem right. 
You don't know who you are now. 
So you start searching for answers. About who you are and why this is happening. 
You now know that this isn't how you want to live. 
So you move on and become happy.
You turn on music because you love it not because you are trying to forget. 
You found yourself and your happy now. That is until it all goes downhill.
You thought family was getting better.  Well it lasted for about a month. 
Then something happens. 
Something little.
It mess everything up.
All your family seems to be good at is being mad at each other.
You wish it were different, but you know that isn't possible.
You start to lose hope. 
Everyone tells you that it will get better, but you know that it will get better and then worse.
They don't understand. 
That nothing ever is going to be really good in your life. 
You're living your own hell that nobody would be able to understand but you.  
You see the world in black and white as everyone else sees  it in color.  
You know that someone is worse of than you but it still kills. 
You can't handle the fact that no one understands.
The fact that it hurts to do the things you loved. 
You start taking long walks and thinking about everything going on well you are on those walks. 
You realize how easy it would be to run away from all of this. 
But you always come back because this is your life and there is nothing you can do to fix family.
So you live in this hell with a smile on your face in the light and tears on it in the dark.
Nothing is the same.
3 years ago your life was good.
People say it's just a phase that you'll get through.
But is it?
How would they know what's going on in your head. 
Some things can't be changed.
Not everyone gets a happy ending this isn't a fairy tale.
Things will never be the same.
Your family well that's not gonna get better, and you're gonna lose more people in your life that you care about.
It apart of life. 
One of the people closest to you will leave and it's gonna kill. 
But supposably there is a light at the end of this dark, dark tunnel.
Just because you get to that light doesn't mean that it will last for ever. 
This life of yours is a roller coaster of good and bad things, but there are bond to be more bad than good things in your life. 
Because weather you like it or not you are living your own nightmare. 
That no one around you will understand.  Then it happens again you just don't understand.
Family keeps getting worse. 
You just lost another one of your "Best Friends".
It hurts to do the things you love.  Everything ever said by friends and family seems to never leave your mind. 
But hey, It's life.
People break their promises. 
Friends betray you, and trust is broken. Bad things happen, and it can mess up relationship.
Everyone has a secret something they will never tell anyone. 
People come it to your life just to teach you a lesson.
People that you're close to one day can leave the next day.
It's apart of life.
It's the crazy, messed up life you live in.
It never goes your way long before it all goes downhill again.