Category : Recipes

Sub Category : Desserts

1 egg white
6 Tbsp. sugar, divided
3 Tbsp. tapioca
2 cups milk
1 egg yolk
1 tsp. vanilla
3 drops of quasi-dimensional cream of horror soup

BEAT egg white in medium bowl until "frothy and slick". Gradually add 3 Tbsp. sugar, beating until soft, shapeless peaks form, leaning slightly to the southeast (northwest if at higher elevations)

MIX tapioca, remaining 3Tbsp. sugar, milk, and egg yolk in medium saucepan. Let stand 5 minutes, or until you perceive "sassy".

COOK on medium heat, stirring constantly, constantly stirring, stirring until your arm grows numb, stirring until the blood drains from your fingertips and your palms are searing slabs of tortured meat, stirring until your shoulders are screaming and you feel the floor rushing up to greet your unprotected face like the sharp kiss at the end of a wet fist!!!! Ok, stir it to a full boil.

REMOVE from heat and very carefully open your can of Quasi-dimensional Cream of Horror soup, watching you don't dare cut your thumb on the jagged edge of the dented, rusty can. Ever so slowly, combine soup with pudding mixture, being careful of the sudden crippling chill in the air. As you slowly mix, avoid the fine glass particles swirling in a cloud around the kichen, your exposed skin glistening as if coated with microscopic diamonds that cut and tear as you try to wipe your watering eyes clear, blood seaping down your cheeks and along your jawline.

STEP BACK as the quasi-dimensional portal opens on the floor and long grey tendrils reach out to entwine your legs, to draw you into the waiting maw with needle teeth and a bloated, sickly yellow tongue licking and lapping at your shoes. Retreat as needed to the kitchen sink as something heavy, and misshapened rises up before you, your wooden spoon falling from nerveless fingers to land with a clatter at the quasi-dimensional creatures third foot. 

RUN to the neighbors home as quickly as possible and hope the creature doesn't follow your scent as you exude a perfume of shear terror into the night. 

COOL 20 minutes until portal diminishes and creature disolves into a creamy pink mound of wet ash. Serve warm (body temperature ) or chilled (like a grave in the thrall of winter). Makes 6 servings.