Category : Books-Fiction

Sub Category : Drama

Hey, my name is keesha.... In a total-suicidal....Now...before I say what a total-suicidal is.. I want to explain why I am one... so it all started a long time ago when I was five, I didn't know what being suicidal meant until my mom committed suicide in front of me!!! Yeah that's terrifying, then my Dad forgot about me and got drunk and ran away to some other country with his dumb ex-girlfriend that he apparently "liked". I was found on the streets and got picked up by strangers. They didn't know me and I didn't know them, some say that I was their daughter. But I wasn't nor I will I ever want to be. Here's why. When I got to their house they took me downstairs and they left me there for 3 Days to starve. Then later that day, a female took me upstairs and took a knife and put it in my hand. She told me to stab her right in the side of the throat. Of course I said No at first but then she told me that if I didn't I would go to hell. I wasn't stupid, I knew that if I stabbed her I would go there and if I didn't I wouldn't. Then she threatened to kill me if I didn't. So I did, I took that sharp knife she put in my hand and stabbed her right in the side of the throat. I felt good because she had kidnapped me and left me to starve in the basement for three days. I also felt really guilty and sad, and I had no family that I had known of to go to or live with. So later that evening I walked out the door and started to walk. I didn't know where I was walking I just had to get away from that house. I knew sooner or later the police would show up there and investigate who stabbed the woman in the throat. I was praying to God that they wouldn't find out with me, until I passed by the police station and they stopped me from walking and took me inside. They asked if the female who I stabbed with my mom, and I said yes. You know why? Here's why, because if they think my mom is dead they put me in a foster care, so I will have a family to look after me. Of course I knew that they weren't my real family I just wanted to feel loved by someone who cared. And that's exactly what they did, they put me in foster care got my foster mom was named Kim and my foster dad was named Jimmy. They had two kids Charlie and Jason. They were both my age of course, I was six at the time, my birthday was on September 12th. Later that year I got up in the middle of the night to get a snack. I had gotten a peanut butter and jelly sandwich oh, my favorite. Then I reached in the silverware drawer to get a knife to cut my sandwich. I grabbed one and then I felt a pause. I stared at the knife in confusion. I remember the time when my mom had committed suicide in front of me. This had looked like the knife that she had slit her wrists with. I started to cry. Then I took the knife and cut my thigh multiple times furiously. It felt so good, so relieving, I felt like the stress that was built up inside of me had just melted. Blood was everywhere, blood was oozing out of my thighs as I laughed in confusion. You may ask... Why was I laughing? Why did I think that cutting myself as funny? Well that's because I didn't know what I was doing, it didn't feel like me when I cut myself. Suddenly I heard a door open and I dropped the knife. It was Kim, my foster mom. She had looked down to where I was sitting, blood everywhere... I tried to explain her that I had just got up to get a sandwich and I accidentally cut my finger. She called the cops later that night to take me back to where she had pick me up from. The police station... THIS IS THE END OF STORY ONE!! I WILL BE MAKING A NEW ONE, BTW THIS ISNT REALLY REAL, SO DONT FREAK OUT!! BYEE