Category : Stories

Sub Category : YoungAdult

Have you ever...
...ever had the feeling of being stuck in one place? A place you don't want to be? A place that makes your skin crawl?
Well, I have. In fact, I guess you could say I still am. Wanna know what this place is? It's my own mind. I'm stuck in my thoughts. Thoughts of my uncle, actually. He passed away in July. And I miss him. He's never really been someone I considered 'close', but in the end he was my uncle.
Why am I so affected by his death? Simple: because when I started my last year in Highschool, I wanted to change the way I looked at him. I knew he had cancer and that my parents didn't want me to see him like that. I never really questioned it. For me, that was just how it was. Anyway, writing mails helped me to understand him a lot better. He was different from all the rest of my family. The reason I know how he felt? I guess it is because I'm different, too. I've never really been like anyone in our family, always having a different opinion and I don't even look that much like anyone else.
Again I'm stuck in my thoughts. He wrote once that this might be the last Christmas he'd spend with us. He came over every year. I can't imagine it without him. I hate him for being right.
However, this is the place I've been stuck in for the past three months. Asking question over question​. Why did he have to die? Why now? Why didn't I write him earlier? Why have I never hugged him? Why can't I let go and move on?
I might not know any of those answers. But I know one thing: There is no way I'll ever be able to completely leave this place.
So, have you ever...
...ever been stuck?