Category : Books-Non-Fiction

Sub Category : Biography

 

It was a typical day the alarm buzzing at the usual 4:30 am trying to unbury myself from underneath the mound of blankets I manage to get an arm out just knock the clock off of the night stand. Still unable to stop the alarm I just unplug it from the wall. Laying  there contemplating my interaction with the rest of the world.  Unfortunatly bills have to be paid, forcing myself to get out of bed and slowly making my way to the kitchen to start coffee, as the scent of it filled the apartment grabbing a quick cup of motivation I  made my way to the bathroom where I began to run my shower wiping a large portion of the steamed up mirror off, I noticed my hair ruffled from being buried under the covers not to mention the bags under my eyes from the lack of sleep. As I stepped into the shower the hot water seemed to give me life again. Closing my eyes I remembered this particular day had been the 20 year anniversary that the love of my life had been taken from me. I began to reminisce of how I tried to move on with my life going through two of the worse relationships one of which I was blessed with two beautiful children but it was a very violent relationship  ending with me in the hospital recovering. thank goodness for mother's, mine was a godsend in helping me with my son and daughter, the second A 12 year relationship;if you want to call it that resulted in an unloving marriage filled with infidelity and it also ended with my ex leaving me for his mistress taking everything, again thank goodness for my mother helping me pick up the pieces. Realizing I had lost track of time from the warm embrace of the water, I had to rush from the shower not even grabbing the towel I stood in front of the fan in my room to dry off.  Throwing on a pair of shorts,an old faded shirt and a pair of flip flops I packed my chef uniform in my bag not scheduled for work until 330 pm I decided to make a couple of stops before heading into a chaotic 12 hour shift. My first stop was a  florist where I ordered a dozen white lily wrapped with blue ribbon as she put my arrangement together we began to talk about our children,  she began to talk about her husband and preceded to ask me if I was married I politely said no ma'am I'm divorced she apologized, smiling I told her "its ok its been 8 yrs now and I've moved on" it hurt at first I told her but I knew he wasn't happy with me so the best thing I could do for him was let him go. Wow she said I'm not sure if I could ever have the strength that you did if I ever faced divorce. Smiling I told her you would be surprised how strong a person is in ascertain situations .  she then asked are the flowers for your mother I replied no Ma'am its the anniversary of the death of my first love "oh my I'm sorry" she replied "may I ask how it happened" I explained he was killed by a careless driver and passed away in my arms as we waited for the paramedics. Well she said you've been through quite a bit haven't you, choking back the tears again I said yes ma'am replying my name is Julie hun you don't have to call me ma'am it makes me feel old as we laughed she replied "I'm finished"the arrangement was beautiful as I handed her my credit card to pay she handed it right back and told me that it was on the house. Lost for words I hugged her and told her thank you. Mentioning I was a chef   at cafe 247 and. Would like to treat she and her family to  a meal courtesy of chef Angela. That sounds like a winner to me Julie replied. Oh before you go take my card so if you ever need flowers again or just a friend to talk to you can get a hold of me. Thanking her again I carefully held my flowers as I left. Upon getting into the car I gently placed the flowers into the passenger seat where they stayed until I arrived at the cemetary. It had been years since I had been back there. Taking a deep breath before getting out of the car I began walking until there he was. As I sat on the ground I began to talk to him as if he were right next to me. "I brought you flowers" as i hugged his headstone tightly I began to cry, I miss you I told him I'm sorry it took me so long to come see you, I tried to move on with my life but both times I ended up alone again. Why did you have to go? Did you know I have a daughter and a son now they are great kids, I wish you were here so you could have met them my daughter loves art and is very talented, and my son has such a sense of humor both of them are straight A students in school I'm so proud of them. I even learned to cook too  I know that most people don't believe that the deceased can hear us but as I layed my head on David's headstone with tears in my eyes At that very moment a butterfly landed on my arm then a second and third on his headstone then a few more landed on the lilies. And for a brief  moment it felt as if he was there comforting me whenever I was upset he would always gently touch my face and kiss my forehead. After 2 hrs of sitting out there it was time for me to say my goodbyes, I closed my eyes and kissed his headstone one last time telling him how much I loved him. And would see him again one day needless to say my heart was  broken again. Upon my arrival to work that day I had to gather myself before entering the restaurant last thing I needed was my coworkers to see me in state other than professional. Putting my game face on like usual I went to work even though I wanted to crawl back in bed. The first few hours at work were slow so I did my usual thorough cleaning just to keep my mind busy. As I let most of my wait staff go home due to lack business, which was a good thing in a way because I was able to catch up on paperwork and do my weekly order for the restaurant. Losing track of time my last server came to inform me that they had one last customer who was just ordering drinks from the bar. I told him to go ahead and clean up and I would take care of the rest. Are you ok? he asked I noticed you had been crying "you could see that"? Yes ma'am I didn't say anything else to anyone though and if you ever want to talk or need a friend I'm here. "Thank you" but I'll be fine. By the time I finished paperwork and inventory counts 4 hours had passed and it was already midnight with a 35 minute drive ahead of me just so I could return to work at 530 so I could open up the restaurant in time for breakfast. The drive back home seemed to never end. By the time I got home it was 1245. Unlocking the door I removed my shoes as to not track anything through my apartment. Once inside. I began my usual routine of leaving a trail of clothes from the front door to my bedroom. " god it was great to be home" as I looked through my bedroom window the view of the water was beautiful. 
Grabbing a glass of wine and heading to the bathroom,I began to run my bath  I added  lavender and rose oil to the water lighting the candles that sat on each corner of the tub, before placing my phone. and glass of wine on the small table next to the tub I decided to scroll through my playlists of music I decided to listen to some Keke Wyatt